A Space of My Own 我的空间

Lift Up My Eyes

Posted on: April 7, 2009

My project is slowly killing me with anxiety. I wonder if it will kill me in terms of marks too. The only thin I could do is to commit it into God’s hands and learn not to worry.

Casting burdens. Again and again.

I am really very scared and confused now. Not sure which task I should do first out of all the pressing ones I have. And end up doing nothing because I’m too stressed to do anything.

This is the 3rd time I’m blogging about the same thing. And thank God, each time the assurance get clearer and clearer. I have been looking at the wrong places for deliverance. I have been really too wrapped up in work and my own priorities.

I don’t know what it’s like to have a project in front of me and I’m totally blank about it. But then I had other projects behind me that were seemingly impossible to be done, yet somehow or other I’ve always gotten help to complete them.

It’s just like the Israelite crossing the wilderness and they can only rely in the past miracles to believe. But each time a miracle carried them through too, except when they disbelieved.

Thank God.

I can only trust on Him to deliver now. This, and more.

It was only when I read through some of my previous heartbeats elsewhere, that I suddenly realized that I’m all weak and emo in the inside.

These days I find it hard to know myself. All those things I thought I was… turned out to be something else. Some of my edges which I perceived to be soft are very much harder, and some areas of my defenses I thought were strong and protective enough – turned out to be soft and vulnerable. Not in a bad way. But it just makes me wonder if I should know myself all over again.

Hitting the books again. I’ll survive this semester.


6 Responses to "Lift Up My Eyes"

Jia you, gailgail!!!

You\’ll survive it, I know your will!Just keep trusting 🙂

Perfect love (Jesus) casts out ALL fear

Thanks all! I kind of survived the project at least.

Thank God – and happy Easter my dear friend

Happy Easter too Martyn. 🙂

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