A Space of My Own 我的空间

She Crossed The Valley

Posted on: April 11, 2009

Yesterday was Good Friday. It stormed, rained, and poured. So did my heart. It broke into torrents; trickles at first, when I got Dawn’s SMS (sorry for not replying, Dawn, I didn’t know what to say at the moment, and eventually forgot) then the dam burst when my grandfather called.

A lorry accident took my friend’s life. I forgot to ask how and when and what it was exactly all about. All I knew was, I was not going to see her again, and it didn’t seem real.

You know how sometimes we see people’s MSN messages say ‘my friend passed away’ and ‘how shocking’ and things like that (translate that into Chinese too)? Those words on the screen not able to bring out even a fraction of the grief we feel inside.

I read Tsai Sheng’s blog yesterday and cried all over again. Like him, I thought she was going to survive that accident, no matter how fatal it was. Like him, I thought God would pull her through. It was so sudden. She was so young, so vibrant, so full of life. She had so much more, to learn, to love, to grow and learn to care for.

And the next message told me that she had gone home to be with God.

I know she’s no more hurting from her injuries, and there it is only those around her that are hurting from them. I pictured her family, her close friends, all those who knew her, who will be affected. I thought of my own family and prayed that they would be able to comfort hers. I thought of her mother, who was so kind to my grandmother last year when my mum crossed that valley too. I thought of the piercing grief she has to experience now, losing her own daughter this time.

I walked with Jon from the back of RH to McDonalds to buy my dinner. The rain, going on and off yesterday and today, had stopped. And although it was evening the sky was so bright. The air so refreshing. The grass on either side of the steps bloomed with life. I turned my thoughts back to Tampin, and thought of the grass green over my mother’s grave. I thought of Charissa, who just lost her life, and this beautiful evening sight, somehow still grieved my heart as I was reminded of her again.

Somehow being over here in Singapore doesn’t make it seem real. No it doesn’t. But it is, and I’m still bringing myself to accept that.

Like Tsai Sheng, I couldn’t help inwardly asking God, why? But like Tsai Sheng, it doesn’t mean I don’t trust You, God. I just don’t know what’s Your will in it. But I know not a sparrow will drop from the sky without Your consent. I know You have loved Charissa more than anyone ever had, and You have lovingly counted all the hairs upon her head. And now she’s in heaven together with You, brought by the blood of Christ.

During Good Friday service, while I was singing hymns with the congregation during worship, I was struck by the fact that Jesus paid her ransom more than two thousand years ago, so that she may be where she is today. Jesus had prepared for this. But now, we must mourn with the living. And that doesn’t keep her from missing her now.

I still miss her, but another part of me still hasn’t brought myself to believe it fully. Still it has awakened the realization in me, that every single day must be lived to its full potential for God… to make it count.

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3 Responses to "She Crossed The Valley"

I\’m so sorry to hear that – u will hurt for a timeI\’ll pray for u

Charrissa had somehow touched my life throughout her daily living . We are sharing the same grief , read my blog in friendster you will know and at the same time the same comfort that she is now in our beloved Heavenly Father\’s arm .Let us pray for each other and thanked God for what we have learn…By the way , can you give me Tzai Sheng \’s blog webside

Hi Martyn, thank you. Hi Hue Wen, I\’ll read your blog. You can find Tsai Sheng\’s blog link in the links at the side of the my blog. Thanks for the encouragement!

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