A Space of My Own 我的空间

To Date or Not To Date

Posted on: May 15, 2009

I had been blog hopping and paying multiple visits to Restaurant City. My dessert and main course are doing very well ( to those who know what I mean) and I have enough employee to have a permanent cleaner now. So I just happily on the program, let it run and feed my employees from time to time. Satisfaction rate at 39.6 to date and still rising  🙂

Anyway, since I don’t have my usual bookmarks in my dad’s comp, I viewed a lot of blogs from people of my sister’s age (Mable) and realized that most, if not all of them were desperately crushed. Not crushed in the ‘depressed’ sense but they have fallen headlong into the teenage ‘puppy love’ stage. What’s more, most of them are seriously thinking of courtship.

I know some Westerners and people who live a generation ago do court and even marry in their teens, but according to the way these people I know carry themselves, they are just not ready for what they are raring to start yet. At least my sister is sensible enough to think that way.

Why not start when you’re in your teens? The answer I used to get from the grownups in the church was ‘wait until you are more mature’. Define more mature? LOL. How to narrow down this definition?

I’m not an expert in parenting but then here are some thoughts offhand (meaning I’ve just come up with them this split second so they are neither complete or well-thought-out yet). When you start a relationship you must be ready to take responsibilities for yourself, must be prepared for conflicts and quarrels. Personally I don’t believe in doing this behind our parents’ backs too. After all, we won’t want a relationship that always hides and shrouds itself in deceit. Know your own weaknesses, and your partner’s and be ready to live with it, whether he/she changes or not. And strive to make things work, and don’t give up easily. This is what I learned from my own relationship. And if you realize that you can’t put God first in the relationship, it’s best not to start it off as yet, or at all. I guess our young people still need to learn a lot more on how to love God first before the desires of their heart. Myself included. I’m still learning a lot.

You may think you’re ready. But sometimes what you need is a neutral third party that is mature enough to access if you really are. And to pray about it too – and be submissive to God’s will about it. Some people want different sparks and experiences in their lives and don’t mind going through multiple relationships on the course of finding the right one. But then again, you won’t know how many hearts you’ll hurt along the way, with this naive and selfish play.

Here’s something cliche but it’s what I believe in – a relationship between a man and his mate is like a triangular with God and the top. Only when both get closer to God will they get closer to each other. Unless God builds the house, man will labor in vain. I’m still learning to have a God-centered relationship too.

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3 Responses to "To Date or Not To Date"

Great blogEspecially that in every relationship, u must put God first – Amen sisterBut where i disagree is people must make mistakes (let them do what they want) – it\’s the only way we learnGod bless

Hey,Gail..I really like your triangle theory,it\’ really reminds me of a lot of things…thank you ^^ may GOD bless you!

Thanks Lun :)Martyn, I don\’t understand what you\’re saying about the make mistakes part? I didn\’t mean that we can\’t make mistakes, we will anyway, just that we shouldn\’t start out with the mindset \’if this is a mistake, we can just break up later\’. I think it\’s very unhealthy.

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