A Space of My Own 我的空间

Musings After Week 7

Posted on: March 6, 2010

This semester has been a rather slack one. 🙂 I like it! But I don’t know how much difference it will make to my results.

I’m going out tomorrow to visit the Family Service Center that we could (hopefully) do community service at. It’s tiring having to constantly change plans like this. But in the end I think we’ll make it. 🙂 My MNO team is a nice one to work with, at least so far.

I’m practicing for Phoenix Fest and NUS Open House for CME and the Rugged Hallways respectively. I don’t know why but I don’t really have much mood for music nowadays. I once said that my music reflects who I am at a point of time? That’s really true. It sounds listless now, no energy, despite my constant trying and trying I can’t put that little extra ‘oomph’ in that my songs badly need. The tactics and beats are there, but the emotions won’t come.

I told JH (he’s playing violin for me) today that our playing lacks something. He says, well, there’s not much we can do. It’s true also. CME used to be a big family team playing together, so much that even when practices are tough it’s a joy to listen to and play with. Now there’s just two of us. I always feel it’s my fault not being able to carry on Farid’s legacy. True enough, last year’s CME did quite well in terms of performance quantity and quality. In fact I never realized we did that well until I started looking backwards. But one thing I never managed to instill into my members (that Farid did): CME is a family, and the fun thing about belonging is our being able to jam together. I lost that quality out. And now, it’s almost gone forever, until some Chairperson in the next few generations revives it.

Hall points are out. My points are the lowest so far in the past 3 years. But I don’t really mind – because the effort I put in is the least in the past 3 years too, and my points are enough for me to stay on in hall. I know there are people who are dissatisfied with their points too. So I should be quite thankful that mine quite aptly reflects my efforts for hall this year. So far dissatisfaction stems from two reasons: 1) Points don’t match effort. 2) Points match effort, but alas, fall short when compared to other people.

Sometimes I think when we don’t compare ourselves to others, we’d be so much happier, and satisfied. Easier said than done though. The world isn’t fair. Sometimes you’re unfairly better off than other people. Sometimes it’s the other way round. You’d never really complain when it’s the first case. In my case, I often have quite an effective way of solving the ‘unfair’ problem. Jesus paid for my sins and credited righteousness I don’t deserve in my account. That’s ultimate unfairness that tip scales to my side all the way. And because He loves me, nothing else will be unfair anymore. It will just be part of His big, big plan for my life. It’s always wonderful to have this assurance.
One thing that made me quite happy this week was the new wall paper I found:
It’s my new wallpaper now! I can’t post it here because I somehow couldn’t resize it or move it around. But it’s super cute! And I love it. Makes me feel much better when I open my laptop to do my mundane FYP work of looking through 690 chemicals, checking their pka and recording their charges one by one. Thankfully Jon helped with some Excel codes, making the thing less tedious. However, it’s still an awful chore, that I can hardly learn anything from. Hopefully this phase of the FYP will be over soon!

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2 Responses to "Musings After Week 7"

Very true dear…but once u stop comparing urself to others u will be happy 🙂

Thanks bro 🙂

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